Comments on: Fighting over Finances

By: kentuckyliz

kentuckyliz — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 22:59:00 +0000

"Having nothing to show for it"--you need to do net worth statements, it is the only way to have something to show for debt elimination.

I like my blow money.

20% interest?! Holy cow...that's an emergency. How is 2-3% in a bank savings account supposed to beat 20% the banks are earning off your indebtedness?

The borrower is slave to the lender.

I'm debt free TODAY!!! And forever.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 15:55:00 +0000

I agree with dawn, ""Respecting each other's position and coming to a compromise is the only way to make it through money quarrels""The trick to making the most of your money is to save some and spend some, having every avialble penny going towards debt, while being the money smart and rational thing to do is nice. You have to remember humans are not rational. Perhaps instead of paying the highest interest first, pay the smallest balance first... that way you can see your progress more clearly.

By: louise

louise — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 22:23:00 +0000

I know what you mean, we both have some 'fun' money budgeted, I just pay if off debt, my husband like his treats but is on board with the debt reduction, probably not so intense as me though.good luck, sometimes a compromise is the only way out.

By: lynnae

lynnae — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 21:32:00 +0000

I feel your pain. We're going through the same discussion, now that we're expecting the economic stimulus check. I've been thinking we can use it to pay down debt. My husband thinks we should have a little fun and take a vacation, since we haven't been on vacation in over a year.

By: Renae

Renae — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 17:28:00 +0000

My husband and I had similar fights for years because I’m a saver and he’s a spender.
Two things made a big difference: I had my husband take over paying the bills and clearly outlined how much money we were losing to interest each month. He doesn’t like to live in financial reality, so was apalled at how much even 9% interest on a credit card adds up, and was surprised that we really didn’t have much money after the bills were paid. We also talked about the bills not in terms of paying them off, but in terms of how much extra discretionary income we’d have when we no longer had the bill, and how quickly our savings would accumulate if we put that money directly into savings. Sometimes seeing things in black and white really helps.

By: Southerner

Southerner — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:53:00 +0000

I promise you that it is worth a few months/years of sacrifice so that you can have the rest of your life without the weight tied around you. But, it looks like he doesn't feel the weight so you need to look at what are some ways to keep him on board by giving times of spending a certain amount so he does not feel totally against the plan. Like when you get money allow a certain amount for spending and then use the rest to pay off debt. I bet you will find it really doesn't take much to make him feel appreciated in his views and to satisfy his need for some more freedom.

By: Mr. Debtbeater

Mr. Debtbeater — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:26:00 +0000

Boy do I ever feel your pain, and our roles are reversed. The biggest difference for us is that she's "agreed" to go along with "the plan", but still pipes in with "but I HAVE to get my haircut every 6 weeks and I HAVE to go to the same hairdresser every time" (which costs $50/per visit) so it ends up being kind of a weak plan.I'll save the rest of the ranting, but know that there's others out there with this same struggle! I simply have to hope that we can make enough progress to eventually get there even with a few "HAVE to" have luxuries along the way.

By: K

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 08:46:00 +0000

And I forgot to say, when we eat at McDos it costs €25, or $40! Not so cheap!My father in law, who's going with us to the US, said to me 'I hope that we don't just eat at McDo when we're in the US' and I said 'Are you kidding? There are so many better fast food places to eat!'

By: K

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 08:43:00 +0000

We have 'our' money built into the budget. 40€ for me and 50€ for him. I've started withdrawing it in cash at the beginning of the month, now that we have a bit more room in the budget and don't have the monthly black hole. This way he has his money, and it doesn't get spent on 'household stuff'. I think he would like the security of seeing €X in the bank account, rather than just the absence of a monthly bill- instant gratification, if you will!And yes, we live in France, and still eat at McDonalds. Gross, huh?

By: Emily the Great and

Emily the Great and — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 05:05:00 +0000

We are trying to pay off our new minivan as soon as possible, so I know how heavy a debt can feel. With me, it's more of an inner struggle as I want nicer things but know I need to put the money to better use than acquiring more stuff.Have you tried explaining the environmental side of this to your husband? My dh is so much more conservative with money when he thinks we're not buying out of ecological rather than economic reasons.