This post originally appeared on March 11, 2008. I had just had a big fight with my husband about our finances, and I was a little irked.
My husband and I got into a fight over money yesterday. It wasn’t the first time. I highly doubt it will be the last.
One of the things my husband said is that as soon as we get a bit of money, I want to pay off debts. He feels that we’re going to spend the rest of our life paying off debts, and never get to enjoy our money. He would rather have put the â‚¬3600 into a bank account and slowly incorporate it into our budget than pay off the open line of credit.
I can’t help it. I’m trying to be objective as I write this, but instead, I feel myself getting angry all over again. I’m angry because I feel like he wants to squander our money rather than pay it off responsibly. I’m angry because I feel like he doesn’t trust the reasoning and knowledge behind the decision I would choose to make. I’m angry because I feel like he isn’t being logical when he would prefer to keep our debt at 20% interest instead of paying it off.
He was angry (and maybe still is) because he feels that we have nothing to show for our (his) hard work. He was angry because he feels like he works and works and works, but can never enjoy the fruits of his labors. He was angry because he feels like he’s going to spend years paying off debt and then he’ll be dead.
Like many couples, we have different styles of dealing with our financial situation. We have the same end goal in sight, being financial comfortable, but different ways of reaching said goal. I think my husband wants to slowly have life improve: a house that’s a little bit bigger, being able to buy CDs from time to time without needing to think about the budget, the luxury of going out to eat at a nicer restaurant than McDonalds. My dream of being financially comfortable involves the â‚¬900+ of extra income every month once we no longer have debts to pay.
We certainly haven’t resolved anything. The argument kind of petered out as we blew off steam. We both understand the other’s position intellectually if not emotionally. That doesn’t make it any easier to resolve or even find temporary patches, so for the moment, things are staying status quo.