Comments on: Being Frugal is Being Different

By: Kristy @ Master Your

Kristy @ Master Your — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 08:04:45 +0000

I usually tell people that I can't afford to buy this or that, or go out here or there. With a couple of close friends, I may going into more detail - I had this or that come up, etc. - but I don't go and spend the money if I don't want to. It's funny, you'd think my spendthrift friends would be the ones to influence me the most, but strangely enough, my biggest challenge with spending is myself. I don't stop myself from the impulsive spending. Kristy @ Master Your Card´s last blog post..Weekly Round Up

By: Kate@LivingTheFrugalLife

Kate@LivingTheFrugalLife — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 13:52:53 +0000

I think your response is SO much better than saying “I don’t have the money.” And for many reasons. Saying, “I don’t have the money” – especially if you’re saying it to your child – implies that you WOULD spend the money if you had it, and/or that you’re “poor.” While I agree that it’s really no one’s business how we spend our own money, with kids I think it’s important that parents use occasions where this might come up as opportunities to communicate important values and the decisions the parents are making because of those values.

It’s often not a case of not having money. Rather, frugal people make conscious decisions about how that money will be spent. Usually, it’s the case that we’re prioritizing some greater good, whether it’s getting out of debt, saving for retirement, practicing ethical consumption, whatever. It may be a distinction lost for many years on kids. But ultimately, I think kids do come to understand and appreciate the deeply held values that their parents live by.

Kate@LivingTheFrugalLife´s last blog post..Your Turn, Dear Reader

By: Holly

Holly — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 09:44:00 +0000

I usually say ‘It’s really not my cup of tea.’ ; ‘I don’t have time to…’ or ‘I’m not that keen on …’ And in truth, I’m NOT a person to get my nails done, go to the sunbed, package holidays, hair appointments, coffee and lunch out, take-away dinners frequently, the latest techno-gadget and almost daily shopping. I find them not only a waste on money, but a waste of time and energy!
My 10 year old son is very happy with what he does have (we count our blessings together regularly), even though he does get a bit wistful when classmates or teammates expound on their newest expensive item. I would rather spend the money on enriching activities than on electrical goods that are thrown on the wayside after a few days or weeks.
As an American in England for the past 11 years, I too get the same questions and comments to the point where I can anticipate them. A common misconception is that all Americans are rich with swimming pools! Well, not how I was raised… frugality was an important part of my whole life. Re-use, Recycle and Re-purpose were an understood necessity, not a global warming incantation.

By: Liz

Liz — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 06:28:23 +0000

Kelly, yours is a wonderful site which I am really appreciating from Australia. I agree that a short non-confrontational response is the answer – you can quickly tell those friends who are keen to engage in a discussion about a frugal approach, and those who aren’t. A simple line to remind yourself of your longer-term goals is also a helpful tool!

By: Carol

Carol — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 23:11:34 +0000

I think a lot of people might want to present themselves as free spenders, but if you look more closely, you’ll find a lot of ways in which they are in fact quite frugal. They just don’t broadcast it because they want to LOOK successful. I’m not sure that being frugal is being as different as you think..

Though I have friends who have great houses full of matching furniture and uniformly nice things, I have more who do not.

By: Coco

Coco — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 21:13:40 +0000

I love the phrase "it's not in our budget." I am definitely using it when I am pressured into buying or doing something I can't afford. Much more graceful & less brunt than my "I don't think so...." Sure, being frugal is being different, but I think being different is a WONDERFUL thing. I rejoice in being different, because that's what makes me unique. Besides, who ended up the winner - the Ant or the Grasshopper? Coco´s last blog post..Honolulu Festival; March 13-15

By: Annabel

Annabel — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 17:41:29 +0000

Kelly, I'm surprised you've encountered that situation in France (unless it's your American friends and acquaintances!)—I find the French to be quite frugal in general.

I try not to be around people that would pressure me to spend money in ways I can't or don't want to, but if that situation came up I would say something like "I have other things I'd rather spend my money on."

By: Bette in the Midwest

Bette in the Midwest — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 16:23:55 +0000

Hi,

I'm a very frugal SAHM and am long past the need to justify how I spend my money to my family or friends, or to keep pace with anyone else in regard to spending. It took getting out of the working world and into the world of home making, parenting, etc. for me to finally get here. It's not really anyone elses's business is it?! I think saying "that's not in our budget" is a perfect response if/when it might be needed, and nothing more need be said.

I love hearing about life in France and would be interested to hear more about how the people there compare to Americans in their views about money, saving, earning, spending, etc. Say in aspects of homes, cars, clothing, haircuts and personal care, entertainment, home furnishings, college educations, etc. What are some of the values you've seen in that culture, how are those values taught and passed on, etc. I'm sure there is a wide range, as there is anywhere, but it would be fascinating to hear about some of it from your life there!

Best regards!

By: Amanda

Amanda — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 14:59:36 +0000

I usually either say, "It's not in the budget" or "I'm not interested." If it means I'm going to blow my budget buying something I don't need, I'm not interested in doing that to my budget. So either statement is a true statement. Amanda´s last blog post..Motivating Your Kids to Read

By: Sherri (Serene Journey)

Sherri (Serene Journey) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 13:14:25 +0000

Hi Kelly. My husband and I are pretty careful with where our money goes as well. We usually say “We don’t have money.” and just leave it at that. Although that’s not entirely true. We have the money, but like you, choose not to spend it on things we consider not important or a valuable contribution to our lifestyle. It took a lot of work and 2 years for us to finally get out of debt and it was quite the accomplishment. So we’re really in no hurry to get back in debt.

I’m with you on the accent thing too. We’re from Canada but lived in Australia for 4 years and every time we spoke we got the same look from people and smiling really is the only way to respond.

Sherri (Serene Journey)´s last blog post..Quite Possibly The Best Homemade Crusty Bread Ever