I was inspired by the survey from this post to ask today’s Tell Us Tuesday question:
Do you think men and women are given different financial advice? Were you given different personal finance lessons than others you knew because of your gender? Do you teach your sons and daughters different things about money?
I want to answer no, and I’m pretty sure that I teach my kids the same things about money (as much as I can, accounting for their different ages). I think that my brother and I had a similar financial education, at least as far as our mom- our shared parent- was concerned, and any other differences came from being born ten years apart and living with different fathers. It’s hard to tell though.
I do know, that above all other things, I want all my kids to feel independent with and in control of their money, yet generous to others as well. I hope to be able to teach both my sons and my daughter about how to spend and save, and share, wisely and well.
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{ 2 comments }
This is not as much an issue as it was years ago, but I think many boys (myself included, to a small extent) are taught that men need to be the breadwinners for the family and support our wives and kids.
I have no problem with that, but of course, you never hear something like that taught to girls. However, I think girls are now being taught the importance of independence from their husbands as a counter-point to the teaching above.
So it’s kind of a constant push and pull. I’ve noticed that families with kids who are only girls tend toward the latter, and families with only boys toward the first. Mixed families seem to do a better job and teaching all of their kids the same things.
My 2 cents…
I hate to say it, but there is a difference. I have two children (son 19, daughter 18) and they get different strategies and speeches. As a single parent who was blessed to have my family help to raise my children, I had to give them multiple points of view.
Both of my kids have been told the mom may not always be around and that a job is important and saving is paramount. I want them to picture what they feel is comfortable and run to it. But discussing sex and relationships gets pretty wild. Let us face it, “Just say No” is not the magical phrase in live. Explaining the situation and how it can change one’s plans for a life is important. I would love for my children to never know or experience pain or heartbreak in their life, but I cannot protect them from all of it.
I tell my son about responsiblity socially and I tell hime to think about his actions. Getting a large Ice Cream is one thing, getting into a contract for a friend is another. I tell him not to loan more than he can lose to a friend. Especially as a college student. I tell him to start slow when dating. If a girl he is dating wants jewerly after two months, you may want to rethink this person. You are her date, not her father. And most of all, if a woman shows no interest in your study, goals, or advancement, cut her loose. Pretty faces do not pay bills. (Models actually work every hard to make money.)
My daughter is told to save, but she is asked to consider who she is dating and watch his habits. If a man blows his money all on clothes and conserve for what he needs, this is a bad sign. I teach her not to expect everything to be done by the man, she must support the goals. Even more important, he needs to support her goals.
Friends don’t pull friends down. If a friend is pending the relationship on a risk that you have to make, question that friendship. This does not just address money, but a person’s health and freedom. Sorry…I digress.
Some may say that teaching from different points is sexiest, but as modern as I think I am, I still do it. But my hope is that brother and sisters communicate and experience the full spectrum of life.